Just a quick late night post, sat here eating chocolate, wrapped up in my PJ's and fluffy dressing gown, while the rain pours outside...winter surely can't be here already.....anyway, a few things I wanted to record in my scrap book so a post on here is as good a way as any - I have definitely learnt the art of blogging now and it has become a bit of a diary for me but in the end it will make up one big story and I hope to enjoy reading it back some day.

So since my last post on Friday.....

My employers have terminated my employment so I now need to focus on getting better and finding a  brand new job. I have, over the last few months invested a bit of time and money in a home study course, something to concentrate my mind and give me a new goal. I am doing a Level 3 in Early Learning & Childcare...the idea behind this was that if we never get our dream of our own baby then this would come in useful if we decided to adopt or foster and also maybe even a new career in childminding. So far, so good, I am really enjoying it and it is something completely different for me, so glad I chose it :)

Also, our date has finally been set for our fundraiser event. It will be held on Saturday 1st December this year in the Town Hall, Northallerton and I am so excited. Got lots of people on board to help already and can't wait to start thinking of lots of ideas for it. I really hope it will be a great success. More details to follow in the next few weeks....

Would also like to say to my husband....I love you very much, thank you for being a star and putting up with me and my horrendous moods, not sure quite how you have managed to get through the last 8 months, you truly are amazing and I love you with all my heart xx <3

Last weekend I realised how cruel and heartless some people can be.....I won't go into detail  but I ended up feeling so sad and hurt that some people can actually think it acceptable to lie and treat people with a total lack of respect.....really makes me wonder what the world is coming to sometimes!! Really didn't help how i'm feeling at the moment...

Anyway, I moved on but still not had a great week. I haven't slept very well at all this week, I have terrible pain in my shoulders, hips and knees on a night and have had a poorly tummy all week too and not sure if my change in medication is totally agreeing with me but I am determined to keep going as I am, so needless to say I have been an extra grumpy wife this week!

Good News though.......we have been granted permission to use the whole of the town hall, free of charge for one day so we can hold our fundraiser day. So pleased....not got a date yet but watch this space, we should have a date very soon :)

We have also completed our calendar this week, so happy with it and so proud we have made it ourselves with the help of some kind donations of photographs off some lovely people.
£7 each or £9 posted if anyone is interested in purchasing one.

Let's hope next week is a better one xx

Another week has gone by, time is flying at the moment, nearly been off work for 8 months now...

My change in medication this week doesn't seem to have affected me too dramatically which is good, think my hubby would have told me if I was any grumpier than usual!

Ventured into town again on Wednesday to have lunch with my Mum and my God Mother who i haven't seen since the wedding, was lovely to see her and good for me to get out again....must say we chose a terrible day as I was a drowned rat by the time I got home!

Been in touch with the Mayor this week too....he is taking to committee next week a proposal of us having use of the town hall to host our very own fundraising event....quite excited as this would mean we could have a car boot style area with things for sale, we can make and sell cakes, hold a raffle  and also would be able to sell our calendars and notebooks too.....lots of other things we could perhaps throw into this ...face painters, bouncy castle, entertainment....so fingers crossed :)

So no major changes, i'm just pottering on every day and before I know it, it's the start of a new week. Some days are better than others and I still struggle to get to sleep and wake up feeling like I actually haven't really slept, wish I could just switch my busy little mind off!

Had a bad start to the week....a few things had happened over previous days and I think the way my mind is working at the moment things seem a million times worse than they really are and I then get upset, a bit emotional and in a bit of a state....

The week got better though...

On Tuesday I was back at the doctors, we had a lovely long chat about how I have been and what progress I have made and we agreed that I should try and reduce my dosage on my AD's which is wonderful, instead of one every day I am reducing to one every other day so fingers crossed this works and that the change doesn't affect me too much, a step in the right direction at least.

Then, on Thursday I took a big step and went into town. In 7 months I have been to Pizza Express twice, sneaking in so no one saw me - sounds a bit crazy doesn't it!
So...this was a massive step for me. I walked, with my husband, into town and to The Fleece for lunch, we then walked halfway back up the high street and into Boyes to buy a few things I needed, and back home.
It probably doesn't sound alot to you but it took alot for me to do this, my heart was beating really fast and I was scared incase I saw anyone, but thankfully it went well (i did see one person but we detoured round her ~ not someone I wished to speak to anyway!). This is a great achievement for me and means that perhaps I can try again next week.

My mum messaged me on Thursday evening to tell me about this man that had been on The One Show that night. I've read his story as I missed the show but basically he has come into alot of money and is giving away £1000 per day to random people!

He says " I decided to pass on my good luck to others by giving away £1,000 every day. I planned to give the money to complete strangers - someone different every time - and all I'd ask is that they'd do something positive with the cash " .... so with that I have 'liked' him on Facebook and am following him on Twitter, he is now following me too - good sign?! 
Read about 'We Are Lucky' here : http://we-are-lucky.com/
Wouldn't it be great if he could help us with our fundraising....but then I think, this sort of thing doesn't happen to people like us...