It's been a while but yesterday's NEWS is well worth me posting about!

NHS are now funding 2 cycles of IVF for couples in North Yorkshire - AMAZING!

How did I find out?
TFM contacted me on Facebook asking if I could give them a call regarding IVF treatment, having already spoken to the press several times I thought this was another interview regarding lack of funding so what I heard next was totally unexpected!

Sophie (TFM news reporter) proceeded to tell me that the CCG's have reviewed the IVF funding and that they have agreed to fund 2 cycles to couples in North Yorkshire - of course, I was in total shock!
Within 2 hours they were here, interviewing me and today I have been part of their news story!

Follow these links to read the full stories :
http://www.hambletonrichmondshireandwhitbyccg.nhs.uk/news/post/commissioning-of-ivf-fertility-treatment-approved-by-governing-body

http://www.harrogateadvertiser.co.uk/news/ivf-heartbreak-could-be-over-for-harrogate-couples-1-6539818

http://www.yorkshirepost.co.uk/news/main-topics/general-news/nhs-to-lift-ban-on-ivf-treatment-in-north-yorkshire-1-6537523

http://www.tfmradio.com/news/local/free-ivf-returns-to-north-yorkshire/

So of course people are now asking 'what next?'

One day at a time, let's see what happens, lots of people to talk to and discuss things with. Because of our personal health issues we would need to fund around £1000 per cycle ourselves (the money we have already raised) but this is fantastic news for us and for all the other couples who desperately want a family. Let's hope all other counties follow suit.

Great news, just in time for my birthday :)

SUNDAY POST ARTICLE - OCTOBER 2013

Just a quick post, basically to remind myself we did this...

The Lister Clinic in London are giving away 25 free cycles of IVF to help people suffering at the hands of the IVF postcode Lottery.

It wouldn't be 100% funded but we already have the money raised to cover the costs that would be incurred to us.....what a great opportunity this could be..

We appear to fit all the criteria so my letter is written....

.

If we don't try we will never know xx Paula xx

You may have noticed there hasn't been many blog posts this year but thought I would take a moment to write a few words.

Busy settling into our new home, setting up my own business and looking forward to Christmas...

Just looking back through last years blog posts, what a difference a year makes and can't believe it's a year since we were planning our big December fundraiser!

No more fundraising on the agenda just yet, life just needs to get totally back on track, maybe next year we will sit down and decide what do next but for now we are just getting on with life.....

Paula xx

Not sure whether to blog when there isn't much to say really or to keep on popping over and leaving a few lines just so people know i'm still here and still stuck on where to go next....

Nothing much has changed since I last blogged.

I had a call from The Sunday Times last week , we had a phone interview and we expect our article to be published this coming Sunday...she asked me lots of questions....

Q. Who donates to you the most?
A. So many close friends and family and we are surprised at donations from people we have never met yet they relate to our story or genuinely want to help

Q.Have you had any negative comments?
A. Yes....but it doesn't stop us believing in what we are doing. The people that give us negative comments either have children or do not have children yet but assume they will oneday.....they have never encountered infertility.....I would be interested to see what they would do/how they would react if they were told they were infertile. Also, we don't make anyone donate, they do so out of choice :)

Q. Do people speak with you about your infertility?
A. Some people do but the majority don't, even some close friends haven't event spoke to us about it

Q. Why do you think that is?
A. We understand it's hard for people. People don't know enough about infertility therefore don't know how to approach it and speak openly about it. Illnesses such as cancer, alzheimers, mental health etc are widely publicised by some huge charities so people know more about them. People just don't seem to know about infertility.

Q. What do you think needs to change?
A. If we never have a child of our own, if I could do anything I really would love to be able to raise awareness, not only about the IVF postcode lottery, but also about infertility in general. As far as I am concerned this is a medical condition that we need help with......yet we don't have access to that treatment. But....unless you have gone through it I guess you will ever understand completely...I want to help people understand and hopefully make more people help other people that are going through it! We want to talk about it and are happy to answer questions.

Q. So, what are you doing about raising the rest of the funds you need?
A. We had our fundraiser in December, we then had our new home to decorate and moved in in march so we agreed to have some downtime so we could get back to normality and enjoy life a bit more. Life wasn't good last year and although I want nothing more than to be a mummy, I have to make sure I am happy, living my life and not letting things take over. I would hate to get poorly again.

Q.Do you think your supporters/donaters understand why you are taking a break?
A. We are so grateful to all the people that have helped us so far but yes, we hope they understand why we have had to put it on hold at the moment.

Q. What next?
A. Carry on with life, be happy and when the time is right we will arrange some more fundraising events however we really do want to continue raising awareness of this and would love to see an end to this lottery

xx Paula xx

A good friend of mine pointed out I haven't blogged lately!
Last year I think I overblogged....but glad I did :)

The reason for no recent posts......pretty much the same as my last post in April...

Just concentrating on my health, taking steps forward and not backwards and deciding what we want to do next.

In no way does this mean we have given up, stopped thinking about it, stopped considering our options etc....that is exactly what we are doing.....thinking.

Last year was an emotional rollercoaster and everytime I think about how I felt then, I feel it exactly the same again....I can't explain and will never be able to make someone feel or understand how I felt then or feel now but just hope people understand our 'down time' :)

We would also like people to know that the fantastic amount of money raised so far is in a safe place and ready to be added to when the time is right :)

We massively appreciate the amazing support we have off people, we cannot thank people enough....

 xxxxxxxx

In The Sunday Post today...

I haven't posted for a while...

This blog will be updated in due course but in the mean time me and the hubby are enjoying 'us' time...last year was massively taken up with me being poorly and of course planning our fundraiser....

Just being happy at the moment and considering our options/aims for the future...

Thank you to everyone for their continued support, our friends and family are amazing xx

You may have noticed that I aren't blogging as much at the moment......2013 is so different to 2012 for me....this is my second post of the year, I have been so busy so just popping in to diary a few things :)

Still busy with our house move, our fresh start, we cannot wait and have only a few weeks left before we finally get to move in and look forward to new beginnings.

Something I haven't blogged about yet is, and please don't tell my doctor as I will be in trouble, but I have managed to come off my anti-depressants which is a massive achievement! I didn't mean to, i forgot to take them for a few days as we have been so busy with the new house and I felt 'ok' so thought I would try a few more days and here I am, a few weeks later and all is good.
Maybe the wrong way to come off them...but maybe the right way?!
I think last year took over so much, the tablets were a big part of my life, I thought I needed them, I thought it would take me so long to come off them.....is it all in the mind really?!
Admittedly I needed them in the beginning when I was struggling, but now, in a more positive frame of mind, I think it's the right time to get them out of my life....I feel good for it...

Support from people and also being able to support other people is very important to me right now.
My friend Katy, who was very supportive during our fundraiser planning, is now on her second IVF journey (please correct me if I am wrong Katy x), I love to see her daily updates on what her gorgeous little miracle number one is up to, she is such a cutie, and now she is hoping for miracle number two and I have everything crossed for her - good luck Katy.....definitely think you may be blessed with twins lol xx
Also, Sara, a fellow fundraiser, she has down days like I did but I love to be able to send her words of advice and support, us girls need to stick together and I will do all I can to help Sara on her journey too - good luck Sara, you will get there, keep smiling xx
And, Lianne, although not an IVF'er, you are truly blessed to be on your second journey to motherhood, you really do deserve it and I wish you all the luck in the world xx

I do feel more positive this year, I think having something to keep me busy has helped me massively....as I said to my Mum a few days ago, I don't think a day goes by that I do not think about babies, being a mummy, fundraising, IVF treatment etc etc but we are only here once, we only have one life and I was so lucky to meet my husband that I need to look after the time we have together, enjoy it to the fullest and hope that oneday we are lucky enough to be blessed with a baby Mc'B'!!

It's been over a month since I last posted.....there is a reason for that...

2012 had to be one of the most emotional and mentally draining years of my life...

We found out all about our specific infertility issues, that we cannot get funding and need to raise the money ourselves, we held a fundraising day which was a massive challenge and I lost my job!

Smiley pictures!
 We didn't have many of these last year!

So I promised myself that after our fundraiser in December, it would be time for a rest, time for a break from 'thinking' every single day about how on earth we could raise the money we need and to concentrate on getting myself better and in a better place so I would be strong enough to continue with our fundraising.
As part of our fresh start we are moving house, we haven't told many people about our move as we didn't want to tempt fate but all seems to be going well and January has seen us busy with decorating and interior design!

Ready for painting!!

It has made such a massive difference to how I am feeling, I am burning calories and finally on track to losing the 3 stone I have put on over the last year...I have a reason to get out of my bed each morning and my body is actually agreeing with me for once and my mind is occupied with something other than babies and raising money which is exactly what I need!
So, once we are moved I am on the lookout for a new job, perhaps just part time to begin with and then we can look at fundraising ideas again.

In the meantime we are still getting so much support and so many messages from people. I have also spoken to a few people that are in a similar situation to us, giving them advice on how they can perhaps raise the funds they need, I feel great being able to help other people too.

Also spoken to a lovely lady at Sutton Sanctuary (find them on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/sutton.sanctuary), they offer a relaxation cd for people undergoing infertility and fertility treatment. They retail at £6.50 and they have offered us a percentage of their sales for each sale they make...

So if it would be something you would be interested in please follow this link http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/130841948521?ssPageName=STRK%3AMESELX%3AIT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649 or contact them on Facebook and mention 'Paula & Pete's Fundraising' ..... this is such a kind and lovely idea and we are so touched by their support so a massive thank you to them :)

  I aren't saying I don't think about everything, probably every day, but I aren't letting it take over my life, I can't and I won't...my main priority is me and my wonderful husband.....

I will leave it here for now...thank you for reading xx

Christmas

Well....the festive season is upon us....I have finished my Christmas shopping, the festive booze has been purchased, just a few bits of food to get and then I am done!

So.....I am going to chill out and relax for the next 4 days (at least!) and won't be blogging again until after Christmas so I would just like to say....

A MASSIVE, MASSIVE THANK YOU TO ALL THE FRIENDS AND FAMILY THAT HAVE SUPPORTED US THIS YEAR. IT'S BEEN A HARD YEAR BUT THE SUPPORT FROM YOU MEANS THE WORLD TO US AND THE KIND WORDS HAVE MOST CERTAINLY HELPED ME GET THROUGH THE LAST 12 MONTHS........So from the bottom of my heart, thank you <3

I would like to wish you all a very merry Christmas and send you all my love and best wishes for 2013!

Signing out for now......

I don't have a great deal to write about this week really but just though I would write a little entry anyway, for scrapbooking purposes ;)

We had a well earned night away on Monday (early Christmas present from Mum). Went to see Ellie Goulding at Manchester Academy, it was lovely just to have a break away, even if it was for just one night.

Had quite an emotional month or so and felt unhappy with my current medication and my sleep problems. Also been having lots of muscle pain, some of which started years ago but new symptoms and increasing pain finally led me back to the doctors today.

So yet another change in my AD's, strict instructions to take every day for 28 days and not try and be clever and see if every other day works...fingers crossed, I would love a perfect nights sleep.

Also diagnosed with Chondromalacia Patellae which is damage to the cartilage behind the kneecaps which causes me excruciating pain to the point I struggle to sit/stand or leave my legs in one position for too long.....physio for me so let's hope it helps...I have lots of other aches and pains going on aswell, again some began years ago but the pain has increased dramatically this year so my doctor is monitoring this aswell.

As for everything else.....we are in fundraiser switch off mode at the moment...I need a break before I do any more damage to myself and my health...a few things happening in 2013 to look forward to so hoping these changes help bring back the old me.

Christmas is nearly here, it's come round so quickly this year...I was in a shop in town today and there was a lady at the checkout with her son, the guy on the checkout asked the little boy if he was looking forward to Christmas and the little boy replied in his biggest, loudest most energetic of voices:

'Yes, and it is only 6 sleeps away'

So cute.....lump in my throat moment but I did smile :)

Things that made me smile today :
~ Wrapping my first Christmas presents of the year
~ Receiving a lovely and unexpected birthday gift from my friend, only 8 months late lol

Christmas is a funny time of year for me.....

I'm 32 now so too old to look forward to Santa, presents under the tree etc

When you are kids it is all so special and exciting and when you have children you have it all to make special for them. So, what do you do inbetween? There is a time when you are young and just want to enjoy your life for a few years before settling down and starting a family but everyone kind of has an idea when they want their 'grown up' time to really start!

We take it for granted though don't we? I know I did!

I would love a little family.....I would love to make it all magical for someone else, to see their face on Christmas morning when they know Santa has been ..... if I sit and think about it, it makes me so sad, even hearing the Christmas songs in the supermarket today reminded me of when I was little and how wonderful this time of year was. I always looked forward to the day I would have children and be able to make it so special for them, just like my Mum always did for me.

So, how do you cope with it knowing that you may never be able to do that? 
There is no answer and no definites for us...we genuinely don't know that yes oneday we will definitely succeed with our IVF or that we will get accepted to adopt or even foster...there is no definite for us so I just have to hope.....not easy......but you smile, try and shake off the silly things whirling round in your head and carry on.

Time is flying by and we are getting older, Pete (my amazing husband) turns 44 this coming Wednesday and I am nearly 33.....I just wish we knew what the future holds for us so we could accept it and enjoy life in whatever way we need to.

Things that made me smile today :

~ Remembering that James arthur won this years X-Factor last night.....i'm not ashamed to say I love him and cannot wait to hear his music in 2013 x

~ Knowing that a week today we are going to Manchester to see Ellie Goulding, a break away, even if it is just for one night, it's something to look forward to :) x

I wish I could put into words how I feel today...how I have felt for the last week infact.

I am so touched by all the wonderful messages we have had and all the fantastic gestures people have made in our journey to make a miracle.

Every time someone says something nice, offers words of hope or encouragement it brings me to tears.....I aren't and never have been a person that wants to draw attention to myself so the overwhelming amount of support we have right now truly is amazing and as I said, how I feel right now, I just cannot put into words.

A few moments ago someone sent me this image of some angels that ward 15 at the hospital have made to sell to raise funds for us.....so kind and thoughtful....sometimes feel I don't deserve all this help and support but it is all most definitely teaching me alot of life lessons.

Thank you so much to everyone for their continued support!






On a final note, words from a friend who has an IVF baby...this explains why I want this so much....

'Never give up on your dreams! If I had given up so easily I would not have had what I have now! My precious little Libbie.............the hardest most rewarding thing I have EVER done but worth every injection, every visit to the clinic, every bit of medication, every little scare........basically she is my everything'

Things that made me smile today :

~ Lovely gestures from people we don't know

~ Writing my Christmas cards.....it's beginning to feel alot like christmas!

Just a quick post with an update on what we made on Saturday!!

We made a total of £1360.24 which is fantastic so thank you to everyone involved in making the day happen.

Our grand total is now £2199.93 which is a great start for us.

I haven't stopped crying for 3 days! Emotional, tired, overwhelmed, happy, never felt so many emotions at once.....it is most definitely time for a rest.

Thanks again to all our wonderful family and friends, we can't thank you all enough.

Our Stalls!

Santa & Minnie

I wasn't going to post today but decided to write a few words....

Saturday was our fundraiser event and as a friend said to me 'it will go so quick' and yes, she was right, it certainly did. It was a hectic and busy day from beginning to end and I have never felt as tired as I did yesterday!

The stalls were lovely and the people running them were so nice despite it not getting as busy as we had hoped. The kids loved Santa and Minnie Mouse was a hit, we had a few strolls up and down the high street with her, handing out balloons and biscuits but gosh it was cold....but lots of fun!

I have never seen so many cakes either!! So many people baked for us it was unbelievable!

Without my Mum the day would
 not have been possible....love her so much xx

The Reeds

The evening was great, the band and DJ were fab and there was some great raffle prizes taken home. Nothing went completely to plan but I guess that was to be expected.....we have never planned a big event like this before and I am so proud of what we achieved, we have certainly learnt from it!

It was also lovely to see lots of family and friends, some of which we haven't seen for so long, everyone was just so supportive and needless to say I did end up very emotional!

Laura - aka Minnie!
Love this lady lots, she has done
 so much for us and not complained once :) xx

And today I am still emotional! I am so tired, my feet hurt as I did not sit down once all day or evening, nor did I eat other than 6am breakfast!

Time for a rest I think...








A few pics....

The girls xx

My amazing husband <3 xx

Raffle Prizes!

Lovely to see these 2 :) xx

Joe & Nick - thanks for all your help x

Thank you to everyone for all your support......we will update on the total raised later today :)

It's been over a week since I last posted, time is going far too quickly at the moment!

Lots of planning and preparing happening in our house and my Mum's house at the moment, boxes of raffle prizes, tombola prizes, things for sale, balloons, money boxes, pens, paper, flyers....so much stuff!

Just over a week away, i'm feeling excited but anxious....I just want our day, that we have worked so hard for, to be a great success. Not just for us but for everyone else that has helped us and also everyone that is coming along on the day and being part of it all with us.

Had a few 'blips' in the last week, moments of madness and tears and total loss of control! How on earth my husband puts up with me I will never know but Pete, if you are reading this, once again, I thank you so much for putting up with me, I love you xx

Contemplating going to have a chat with my doctor again soon as I just aren't happy with my total lack of sleep, not sure if it's related to my tablets...too many, not enough...or if my mind is just working above and beyond what my tablets are supposed to be doing for me. Something I am going to think about over this coming week.

This is my 20th blog entry....it started at the end of July with a story of what me and Pete have been through this year and is now, what appears to be....my diary!! I do keep reading back through it and do keep hoping that oneday, perhaps even years from now, I will read back on all my thoughts and feelings and be able to smile and say I got through it all, I hope it all makes me a stronger person and that a positive comes from everything.

And soon, Christmas will be upon us......but that can wait until the 2nd of December, something new to think about!

Things that made me smile today :
~ Kind words from friends

~ My husband bringing me ice cream

Interesting article raised by the Infertility Network UK today.

They say 'there shouldn't be a stigma surrounding infertility and our 'Talking About Trying' Campaign which will be launched next year will hopefully help with this. No doubt though that like any highly personal issue, IVF should be treated with confidentiality - after all no one would share details of how their naturally conceived children. What do you think'

My opinion......until you have encountered infertility then I guess it's pretty hard to try to understand but i can most certainly say the best thing we did was to go public with our story. The support has been fantastic and it amazes me how people just don't even realise the ivf postcode lottery exists in this area. If we can just raise a little bit of awareness it would be a great achievement and why should infertility not be talked about, I think we should talk about it more, it's not something to be embarrassed or ashamed about. It's hard to talk about, really hard, but unless we talk about it then there will always be that stigma attached won't there?

I also think that people should remember that we didn't cause ourselves the problems we have. We have fertility issues that have just happened for no particular reason, and that have most likely been with us for most of our lives, through no fault of our own, they are medical conditions that unfortunately there is no cure for. Every day I see people with babies and think 'do you realise just how lucky you are' but in actual fact how do we even know that they too haven't suffered with infertility issues. I could write lots and lots on this but will leave it here for now and perhaps write a little more later in the week.

Things that made me smile today :

~ A gorgeous bunch of flowers from my husband, lovely surprise :)

Following my 'do nothing' day on Monday I have decided that this is something I should do at least once a week. I thought that sleeping during the day would make sleeping at night even more hard work but in actual fact it did me a bit of good getting up when my body actually wanted to rather than when I thought it was time.

And then....on Wednesday night we had 'Date Night', Pete took me out for a meal and we watched a film...it was lovely just the 2 of us, Pete has been working every day just lately so this was a well deserved treat.

Lastnight, as we had rented out 4 films, one of which was a 'boy' film, I let Pete watch it in bed so I could fall asleep naturally and hoorah, it worked! So, maybe this is the way forward! Letting Pete watch a film in bed at bedtime and me being able to fall asleep without stressing myself out :)



I cannot believe it is just 3 weeks tomorrow until our fundraiser event, it's crazy how fast time is going at the moment, it will soon be a year since I have worked! I have sent out table plans to everyone that has stalls at our event and think everything is just about in place now although I must admit I will be alot happier once we have sold most of the tickets for the evening event, I know it will be a great night and hope we can get the support we need to make it a great success :)



And then, after our event, Christmas is upon us.....my aim is to have a relax and to enjoy a few months where I can switch off from everything until Springtime when we can think about organising something else, but until then I think I need/want/must have some down time and try and focus my mind elsewhere, as much as I want my family to be complete I must remember I still need to live and try to be happy and spend some quality time with my husband <3


Every now and again I stop, and I think, and I remember why we are doing this and sometimes I smile....but sometimes I cry....sometimes with sadness and sometimes with happiness......and every night I go to sleep I hope and I pray that oneday we will be complete and we will have our special little family....I cannot wait for that day xx

Things that made me smile today :

~ A day in my PJ's & Slipper Sox and being snuggled up infront of a film with my gorgeous husband

~ Another homemade tea as part of my aim to lose some weight

Thought I should scribble down a few words as I haven't written anything for a few weeks...

Had a bit of an up and down 2 weeks really...majorly struggling with sleeping. I feel so tired yet when it comes to turning off the lights and putting my head to the pillow I just cannot sleep despite being exhausted. My dreams are there all the time and when it's time to get up I just don't feel like I have slept, I wake up during the night and get so frustrated that I can't get back to sleep again. So yesterday I decided to have a 'do absolutely nothing day'!! Pete was out working so I stayed in bed and actually slept til lunchtime then had a lovely hot bath and watched some afternoon tv and it was good and I think I felt a little better for it. Just hope the rest of this week is a bit easier for me.


Something else I haven't posted about on here which I feel I should... Warrington has now reinstated funding for IVF which is great news however it leaves just 2 counties that still do not fund any IVF treatment at all. Sutton & Merton and North Yorkshire! It still amazes me how the PCT think it is acceptable to have this postcode lottery in place. Some counties get 3 cycles, some only get 1 but we get nothing. Try not to think about it too much, it makes me so angry and really, really sad.

Also....been a bit down with the fact I have put on so much weight. I lost so much earlier in the year due to loss of appetite but it has just piled back on through comfort eating so with a little help from 2 friends who also want to lose a bit of weight we are having daily chats about what we are eating etc and setting little goals, hoping a bit of support puts me in the right direction to try and sort this little problem out! Not holding out much hope with christmas on it's way though!

Less than 4 weeks until our fundraiser day. It's going to be here before we know it. Everything is now all confirmed and booked in, just a few little things left to sort out and we will be ready for the big event. Really looking forward to it thanks to the support of our amazing friends and family and we really do hope it will be a huge success and that everyone enjoys all the effort and planning that we have put into it :)

Will write a bit more at the weekend.....time for bed xx







A fellow blogger friend of mine did a full month of blogging about the joys she found in each and every day so as a little extra to make me a bit more positive, each time I do a new blog post I am going to finish with one or two joys that I have found in my day (thanks Liane for the great idea, hope you don't mind me using it xx ).

Things that made me smile today :

~ Listening to my new Kylie album, The Abbey Road Sessions, whilst cooking a homemade tea :)

~ My husband telling me he's taking me out for a meal tomorrow evening :)

xx

Think I need to stop, breath and relax.....it has been such a busy few weeks and it has most certainly kept my mind busy but gosh I have a headache now!

Some great news though....
My very best friend and her husband had their first baby last Wednesday (the 10th) and she is so gorgeous and I am so, so happy for them, they deserve it, they went through so much to get to where they are today, Imogen-Rose is just beautiful and I cannot wait for cuddles!

......and in the midst of all the lovely comments they have had from people came these touching words...

Paula, just carry on doing what you're doing and it'll happen to you. It's a hard life but sometimes everything stops, you hold your breath and a miracle happens...and it's going to happen to you. Just keep going, just keep doing what you're doing, never give up and always know you've got your Mum, through everything she's there, look at her, listen to her, she knows, and pretty soon you and Pete will have your own little bundle of joy! So enjoy everything knowing "that's going to happen to me"....

So, here I think this song fits just perfectly, can't stop listening to it <3 xxx

Busy week planning and organising so just a quick post to show everyone our flyer design :

Also had a lovely evening on friday with some good friends, was great to see people and socialise - it's been a long time coming so thank you to everyone that came along!

And...for anyone interested in coming to our evening event for our fundraiser day, this is a song from the band that will be performing, this is one they wrote themselves and we love it and hope you will too, I am sure they will be a massive hit with everyone ~ 'The Reeds' :)

Tickets not yet available at the places stated but please let me know if you would like a ticket and I will make sure you get one... x

It's been a very busy few weeks, we have had our meeting with the Mayor and he is completely supportive of our cause and we are so grateful to the council for allowing us use of the town hall on Saturday 1st December.

So it's all about event planning now and this is the plan so far...
From around 9am we will have a variety of stalls with items for sale, we already have home baking, jewellery, nappycakes, cushions and crafts, sweets, cupcakes and lots more. We are also having a face painter from 11am-3pm and Santa will be popping in for an hour or so! Afternoon tea/coffee and cake will also be available and there will be a tombola and a raffle too.
On the evening from around 7pm-11pm we are having an evening of entertainment with performances from a great local band 'The Reeds', other acts yet to be confirmed, there will be a bar and nibbles, tickets are £10 so if you would like one then please let me know :)

Lots to plan and think about but it is certainly keeping my mind busy and something to aim for, really hope it comes together and will be a success. The support we have is amazing and we would like to thank everyone for all they have done to help so far, without our great family, friends and support from people we don't even know, none of this would be possible.

Not much else to report really, I still have up and down days and struggle to get myself woken up on a morning some days, going into town a little more now so it's nice for things to be a little more normal. Still on my tablets, my doctor says I should carry on with them but I am determined to get them out of my life.
Also, on the hunt for a job, hoping everything will just fall into place and the perfect job will turn up at the perfect time. I still have to get myself better and stronger before I can think about work again but I will get there.

Also, a good friend is in a local football team and he is putting to them that they perhaps think about doing a coast to coast run or something like that, they will get sponsored and help raise money for our cause, again this really touched me, some people have been so very kind to us :)

Hoping to get flyers/posters/tickets designed soon so watch this space for further information  on our fundraiser day..

Just a quick late night post, sat here eating chocolate, wrapped up in my PJ's and fluffy dressing gown, while the rain pours outside...winter surely can't be here already.....anyway, a few things I wanted to record in my scrap book so a post on here is as good a way as any - I have definitely learnt the art of blogging now and it has become a bit of a diary for me but in the end it will make up one big story and I hope to enjoy reading it back some day.

So since my last post on Friday.....

My employers have terminated my employment so I now need to focus on getting better and finding a  brand new job. I have, over the last few months invested a bit of time and money in a home study course, something to concentrate my mind and give me a new goal. I am doing a Level 3 in Early Learning & Childcare...the idea behind this was that if we never get our dream of our own baby then this would come in useful if we decided to adopt or foster and also maybe even a new career in childminding. So far, so good, I am really enjoying it and it is something completely different for me, so glad I chose it :)

Also, our date has finally been set for our fundraiser event. It will be held on Saturday 1st December this year in the Town Hall, Northallerton and I am so excited. Got lots of people on board to help already and can't wait to start thinking of lots of ideas for it. I really hope it will be a great success. More details to follow in the next few weeks....

Would also like to say to my husband....I love you very much, thank you for being a star and putting up with me and my horrendous moods, not sure quite how you have managed to get through the last 8 months, you truly are amazing and I love you with all my heart xx <3

Last weekend I realised how cruel and heartless some people can be.....I won't go into detail  but I ended up feeling so sad and hurt that some people can actually think it acceptable to lie and treat people with a total lack of respect.....really makes me wonder what the world is coming to sometimes!! Really didn't help how i'm feeling at the moment...

Anyway, I moved on but still not had a great week. I haven't slept very well at all this week, I have terrible pain in my shoulders, hips and knees on a night and have had a poorly tummy all week too and not sure if my change in medication is totally agreeing with me but I am determined to keep going as I am, so needless to say I have been an extra grumpy wife this week!

Good News though.......we have been granted permission to use the whole of the town hall, free of charge for one day so we can hold our fundraiser day. So pleased....not got a date yet but watch this space, we should have a date very soon :)

We have also completed our calendar this week, so happy with it and so proud we have made it ourselves with the help of some kind donations of photographs off some lovely people.
£7 each or £9 posted if anyone is interested in purchasing one.

Let's hope next week is a better one xx